Take Me Home Tonight
by everydaySUPAhero01
Summary: Ed in a sexy dress... drunk... and oh so willing. What more could Roy Mustang ask for? Lucky for him, Ed just can't wait to take that stupid dress off. A little cross-dressing, boyxboy sexual situations, and alcohol MA R&R AU Now a two-shot!
1. Chapter 1

***My first AU story. Please bear with me.***

* * *

Ed stared at his reflection and glared. He reached up with a towel, about to wipe the offending muck away from his face.

"Don't, Ed," his little brother, Al, said as he walked into the room. "You promised Winry."

"How was I supposed to know that her school was full of sickos who wanted a Boys-as-Girls-and-Girls-as-Boys party? I never would have agreed if I knew I'd have to wear a dress."

"You look pretty though."

Ed didn't know whether to be flattered or offended. He looked at himself in the full-body mirror. His short blonde hair was spiked up in the back with gel in a girlish fashion. He had make-up on his face, courtesy of the girl next door. He wore a short black and red sleeveless dress that began and ended in frills. Winry had wanted him to wear heels, but his feet were too big so he wore a pair of black wedge boots.

He looked HOT!_ I would totally date me,_ he thought.

"I do NOT look pretty," he complained, thought he knew he did.

Al giggled and shook his head. "Why don't you do a spin, Ed?" he asked. "And make a cute face."

Ed rolled his eyes and did as he brother asked. When he stopped he put on a sweet smile before suddenly seeing a flash. Al laughed and took off running with his camera. Ed growled and ran after him. "You get back here with that, Al! I'll kill you!"

"Yeah, that'll make me want to stop running away."

* * *

Ed stood with Winry at the door to the dance. He handed the boy his ticket, trying to ignore the way he ogled him. Winry was wearing a typical black tux with a dark red tie to match Ed's dress. Ed followed her in and grimaced. He was the only good looking guy-girl there. All the other guys looked awkward in their dresses and tripped in their heels. Their make-up looked like a three-year-old had done it.

No one seemed to care, and suddenly, Ed realized something horrible. He was SUPPOSED to look dreadful! It was a joke dance! His face turned red when he realized he'd taken the dress-code to seriously and actually came looking decent.

Winry chuckled and tugged on his arm, leading him towards the refreshment table. "I was going to tell you, but you looked so pretty, Ed. I'm sorry. If it's any consolation, you look better than half the girls here would have if they'd been the ones wearing dresses."

"Yes, that makes me feel better. I'm the prettiest person at the dance. Fantastic..."

Winry giggled and poured us both a cup of punch. She handed him a cupcake. "Then just do what we girls do when we're upset. Eat."

Ed took the cupcake without hesitation and shoved it in his mouth. He swallowed and made a face. "This tastes horrible."

"So? It's not about the taste. It's about the way it makes you feel. How does it make you feel?"

"Like this place needs some better tasting food."

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine. I should have known you'd never get the concept of binge eating."

"Of course I wouldn't. I'm a guy!"

She took my hand again and lead me out to the dance floor. It was a little weird to have her leading, but he tried to go with the flow. He stepped on her toes a few times, making her wince. They were about the same height (much to his displeasure) so it wasn't too awkward, but the other couples were having a tough time.

"Let's go get our picture taken!" Winry suddenly exclaimed happily, pulling Ed towards the photography area.

Ed groaned. "Not more pictures!"

* * *

When the dance was finally over, he couldn't have been more relieved. He'd spent most of the night either convincing people that he wasn't breaking dress-code and he was, in fact, a guy or fending off requests to dance with badly dressed boys in dresses.

After he'd dropped Winry off at home, he went out to a bar, not bothering to change. He had a fake license and, since they were more concerned about the fact he was a boy dressed like a girl, no one really questioned his age.

He ordered something strong, trying to forget about the horrid night he'd just had. He could hold his drinks pretty well so he downed it and ordered another.

"Hey pretty lady," he man said as he sat down beside Ed.

Ed looked at him. He was a good looking guy. Black hair and deep eyes, but Ed wasn't drunk enough to even consider going home with a guy just yet. "Back off, pretty boy," he hissed. "Wait a couple more drinks and then see how I feel about you."

"You're a dude?" Tall-Dark-and-Handsome was quiet for a moment before chuckling. "Kinky."

"It's not my fault," he said. "My best friend from, like, forever," he downed his drink and the bartender refilled it. "... needed a date to this Gender Bender dance." He took the shot again before slamming it on the table. He wasn't even buzzed yet. "More," he called to the tender.

The man laughed. "You're a funny little dude."

Ed's eyes turned red with anger. "Who are you calling little!" he asked, loudly. "Maybe you're just tall!"

The man was surprised by the outburst but then smirked. "Oooh, a soft spot, huh? You're cute when you're fired up."

Ed drank his next shot and sighed. "Don't flirt with me. I don't even know your name. I'm guessing it's something masculine sounding, like Doug or Travis."

"Roy, actually. Roy Mustang."

"Knew it."

"And I bet yours is very soft sounding, like Cole or Sam."

"Hey! It's Edward! That's a very manly name!"

Roy rolled his eyes. "Too bad it doesn't quite fit the body, then huh?" Ed growled angrily but took another shot. He was starting to feel the effects. Every now and then, if he moved too fast, he would feel a little light headed. It got worse the more he drank. Roy chuckled again and suddenly Ed found it very sexy. "What do you think about me now, Mr. Don't-Bother-Me-Till-I'm-Drunk?"

Ed looked at him. He stared at him hard before smirking lazily. "You're hot," he said, dragging out the 'o' a little. "You can take me home now if you want."


	2. Chapter 2

*******PLEASE REIVEW***** I'M ACCEPTING STORY REQUESTS! Please look at my profile.**

**AN:** I know I said that this was a one-shot, but I had an idea and I wanted to add to it. I know it's been a really long time since I've touched this story. Hope you like it.

* * *

Ed blinked groggily at the ceiling, trying to figure out what was wrong with it. It took him a while since his brain was still on sleep mode, but he eventually worked it out. His ceiling was covered in that horrible looking, popcorn like drips of plaster. There was also a large water stain from when the girl in the apartment upstairs drowned herself in her bathtub and left the water running. There was also a piece of paper glued up there from when their landlord thought it would be funny to glue Ed's homework up there and Ed had been too prideful to let anyone take it down when he couldn't reach it, even while standing on a chair.

This ceiling had none of those things.

This was not his ceiling.

His eyes widened and he gasped before sitting up straight. There was a tired groan from the unconscious body next to him and Ed covered his mouth to keep from making noise and waking him up. He peeked around the body to catch a glimpse of the face and blushed.

The man was hot!

He hurriedly, but gently, climbed out of the king sized bed and looked around. He frowned when he saw one half of last night's dress with the other half nowhere to be found. The hell was he supposed to wear home?

He opened the man's drawers and pulled out a button down shirt (that nearly swallowed him whole when he put it on) and a pair of jeans, wincing as he pulled it over his legs. His ass was throbbing and the pants wouldn't stay up. He picked up a belt and made another hole so that he could use it to keep the pants up. He looked at himself in the mirror and frowned. He looked like a clown.

He pouted cutely and searched around for his purse (which has grudgingly let Al pick out for him since the dress had no pockets for his wallet and he wasn't too keen about sticking his money down in his frilly panties). He made sure that all of his things were in there and then rushed to the bathroom to wash off the remains of the makeup before going out in public.

When he came back out, he stared at the man for a long time. He couldn't remember his name, but he did remember that he had been gentle and had even paid Ed's tab for him, even though he protested, claiming that he could pay it himself. He also remembered that the sex had been fantastic! It was raw and passionate and animalistic and Ed was sure that he would be limping for days.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair before quickly braiding it and heading out the door and towards the elevator.

He never did this kind of thing. He was a good (well, relatively good), smart (genius actually) kid (Not a kid! A man! He was seventeen after all). He never, ever did this kind of thing, but he couldn't complain about having this man as his first. He'd never gone all the way before, but it hadn't felt bad.

He glanced both ways before walking out of the building. Luckily, it was still dark so there weren't many people out and about.

He winced with every step he took and picked up his phone to call his brother and let him know that he was okay. Hopefully, he would never see that handsome man again and this could all become a distant memory.

* * *

Roy groaned as he woke. He smiled as the night before came back to him. The lithe little blonde arching and convulsing beneath him as he came. Moaning like a two-dollar whore. He reached over to the other side of the bed and groped around for the smaller body. "That was fun last night, Edward. You don't have work today, do you? I was hoping we could spend all day in bed." When he didn't find a body there, he opened his eyes and sat up, looking around. He narrowed his eyes when he saw his drawers hanging open and no sign of the blonde bombshell anywhere. "He left?" he asked, incredulous. No one ever left him. He was always the one that left in the middle of the night or kicked them out first thing in the morning. He was never on the receiving end. And, this was the first time he had actually wanted his bedmate to stick around and he had left? He picked up his phone and hurriedly dialed a number that he knew by heart. "Havoc?" he asked when the bar owner answered groggily. "I need you to find someone for me."

* * *

Ed sighed as he sat through class, staring out the window of his dingy public school. He would have gone to a better school, but after paying for his brother's private school, he couldn't afford the commute and they couldn't afford to get a different apartment.

He watched curiously as a shiny, expensive looking black car pulled into the parking lot and his eyes widened when he recognized the man getting out of the driver's seat.

"Oh shit!" he exclaimed, jumping out of his seat in surprise.

The class started laughing and his teacher looked at him in annoyance. "Is there a problem, Edward?"

"Uh… yeah. I need… to… take a piss."

The class started giggling again and the teacher rolled her eyes. "Go ahead," she said, sighing.

Edward grabbed his things and bolted out of the room, heading towards and unused classroom to hide. He waited for a long time, almost an hour and he heard the school bell ring twice. He was about to leave and see if the coast was clear when he heard a voice echo down the hall.

"I'm looking for a teacher here. His name is Edward."

"Do you mean Mr. Smith?"

"No, I talked with him already and he's not the person that I'm looking for."

"Well, he's the only Edward that I know of. That's a teacher at least."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there is a student named Edward. Blonde, short, gold eyes."

The first voice was quiet for a long moment before speaking. "Edward Elric, you mean?"

"Yeah, that's him. You know him?"

"Could you tell me where he is?"

"He's supposed to be in my class next period, but no one has seen him for an hour."

"I see… thank you."

Edward pressed himself against the wall as he heard footsteps heading towards him. He tried to move away from the door but tripped over a desk, falling to the floor and knocking over two desks on the way.

The footsteps paused before walking towards the door and throwing it open.

Edward looked up and laughed nervously. "Hello, Mr. Havoc," he said sheepishly, scratching his head. "Um… if this is about rent…"

"It's not."

"Oh," Edward said in surprise. "Then what is it about?"

"Did you have sex with a man named Roy last night?" Edward's face turned bright red and he mumbled something that Havoc couldn't hear. "What?"

"I said….!" He paused, embarrassed. "I don't remember his name."

"Really tall? Black hair? Annoying arrogant personality?"

"Yeah, that's him. Why do you want to know about him?"

Havoc sighed and massaged his nose. "He's a frequent customer in my bar. The one that you weaseled your way into last night. All that the bouncer remembered was your first name and the bartender remembered hearing you talk with Roy about being a teacher here."

Ed blushed as he remembered telling the man that lie when he had asked about his job. "I still don't get what that has to do with coming to find me."

"He's apparently smitten with you."

"Smitten? Who the hell uses the word smitten?"

"Shut up. You left him in the middle of the night and he wanted me to find you since I have connections here."

"Okay, you found me. Now what? I'm a minor. Are you going to tell him who I am?"

Havoc sighed and nodded. "Yeah. Just… find him, okay? Roy doesn't give up when he finds something he likes and he won't give up on you even though you're a minor."

"Pedo."

"He won't have sex with you again until you're eighteen, I'll make sure of it. I won't turn either of you in as long as you talk to him."

Ed pouted and sighed. "Fine. Could you sign me out of school?"

"I'm not your guardian. I couldn't even if I wanted to."

"You're on the list of people who can check me out. I forged your signature. I'll use it to check myself out even if you don't."

Havoc grumbled to himself as he walked over and helped Ed to his feet before leading him out of the room. "I need a cigarette."

* * *

Ed stood outside of the apartment that he had just left that morning. He raised his hand to knock but paused when he heard angry yelling from inside.

"He's what? Are you kidding me? Thanks for not turning me in, Havoc. The little snot told me that he was a teacher." Ed froze and bit his lip, tempted to turn tail in run. Just then, the door was thrown open. "I'm gonna kill-! Oh! He's here already. See you Havoc. I wanna talk to little Edward for a moment."

Edward gulped as Roy hung up the phone and took his wrist, pulling him inside. "I'm sorry!" he exclaimed. "I'm sorry!"

"For what?" Roy asked, sneering.

"For lying to you?" Ed answered, unsure that the man wanted to hear.

"And?"

"Almost getting you in trouble?"

"And?"

"Um… I think that's it."

Roy narrowed his eyes at him. "You're not sorry for leaving me in the middle of the night without so much as a goodbye?"

"Oh yeah. I'm sorry for that too."

Roy sighed and sat down on the bed. "Stop being so cute. You're making waiting until you're eighteen really difficult. When exactly do you turn eighteen?"

Ed smiled sheepishly and scratched his head nervously. "Ten months."

Roy groaned and flopped back on his bed. "Ten months? Ten fricken months? How am I supposed to have no sex for ten whole months?"

Ed looked at him in surprise. "You're going to wait for me?"

"Of course. That was the best sex I've had in a long time. I don't think that doing it with anyone else is going to work."

Edward blushed at the compliment. "So… does this mean that you're my boyfriend?"

"I guess that's what it means. I haven't been someone's boyfriend since junior high. I don't think I remember how to do it. But I'll try, I guess. It's just… dates and stuff, right? That shouldn't be too hard. You're tiny. How much can you possibly eat?"

Edward glared at him and punched his chest. "Don't call me tiny! You wanna get your ass kicked old man!"

Roy smirked and pulled him close, kissing his forehead. "Only if you promise to make it hurt, little boy," he teased.

Edward blushed and looked away. "Pervert…" He was quiet for a moment before his entire face, all the way up to the tips of his ears, turned pink. "So… um… What's your last name, by the way?"


End file.
